Dear Charles Krauthammer

An Open Letter to Charles Krauthammer:

I sometimes wonder if you, like your Obama-obsessed comrades in Congress, are aware of just how damaging your views are to the prospects of international accord and some measure of peace.

Given your nonstop belligerance toward the president and Democrats in general, perhaps this is by design. Perhaps you are a warrior and nothing more, and as long as you are battling against the “prince of lawlessness” that you imagine your nemesis to be, you are convinced your cause is righteous. Perhaps everything you believe can be packaged into the idea that the president must somehow be destroyed, and all other priorities are expendable until this goal is reached.

You are not alone, of course, in holding this deluded philosophy, which has prevented so much potential progress from being realized over the last six years. (Congratulations?)

Mitch McConnel failed in his single-minded priority for the GOP as announced on the occasion of Mr. Obama’s inaugaration – despite a massive effort by the right, Obama’s second term is well under way. Unlike the various illegalities practiced under the former administration (see Libby, Scooter and Plame, Valerie), the hoped-for scandals and indictments of the Obama team are not going to happen. No, not even continued chants of “Benghazi!” will help you now. So you too have failed in your crusade. After six years of harping, you have convinced exactly no one outside your ideological camp that Ken Starr’s political corpse should be resurrected to run down and hog tie another successful Democrat. Can you not simply own that failure and move on? Can you not step out of the ring now that you are on the canvas?

What I am getting at is this: continuously undermining the Hurculean task of managing U.S. foreign policy in a world shattered by extremism, factionalism, and a general collapse of civilization in many regions is not productive for the U.S. and its citizens – people like me. It is good only in the eyes of obsessive people like you, who have no sense of proportion, and of course it’s good for America’s sworn enemies. That goes without saying.

I really don’t care how much you hate the man, nor do I care about the prospects of the GOP, or the Democrats for that matter. I share this lack of compassion for tired, out of touch, insular political parties and their self-interested agendas with MANY fellow citizens. So by extension I don’t care about you, nor am I going to be swayed by your baseless ideologically inspired sophistry.

But I do care about shills like you poisoning the well of ideas here at home, joyously squeezing the bellows of hatred and ridicule into the fires of burning nation states for the sole reason that it might help make the president look weak and increase the prospects for a Republican White House in 2016. Yes, I realize this is “the game” from the GOP perspective, but some of us are through playing it. When I think of the alternative you offer by implication – a “strong” president like former ‘president’ Cheney and his brilliant plans for a “free Iraqi people” and “cheap oil for everybody”, I can’t help but shudder with dread that many low-information American voters would take you up on it.

I realize someone like you will never admit the truth about Iraq – namely, that it was plunged into chaos and sectarian war as a direct result of an unjustified, unprovoked, poorly planned American invasion based on lies told by Cheney’s neocon gang, followed by a dismantling of the regular Iraqi army by the American “governor” of that briefly conquered (and now lawless and leaderless) state.

The disbanding of the Iraqi army, especially, was sheer foreign policy idiocy, as was pointed out at the time, and everyone who was paying attention knows it. These Iraqi men – trained, armed, and then stateless – now form the core of the Islamic State, Sunni warriors cut loose from the now-Shia controlled Iraqi government structure by American decree, men who know they are enemies of Shia Baghdad and who face the prospect of trying to survive under an Iranian puppet regime emboldened by a decade of state-destroying adventures known collectively as the “War on Terror”.

(Yes, I know the new conservative line is that IS was born of Syria’s war, because this allows conservatives to blame IS’s rise on Obama’s “inaction” there – but I am not buying, because without the instability created by the U.S. over a decade of war, IS would just be another Islamist extremist group that CAME to Syria to expand the fight against Assad. They would not be in Iraq or Libya today.)

This is all the result of Cheney’s actions, not Obama’s. No matter how much you want the 2012 Status of Forces agreement to be Obama’s ‘blunder’ that ruined Iraq, you and I both know who put that agreement in place as a matter of history and law. And you and I both know the Iraq “adventure” was an abject failure from beginning to end. It was not Obama’s war. It was not even America’s war. It was Cheney and Halliburton’s war, to the tune of billions in war profiteering.

Of course, to your mind hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis, thousands of dead Americans, many billions of taxpayer dollars down the drain, the hatred of the civilized world toward the “imperialist” bullies running America (believe me, I lived it), and the easily foreseen current state of affairs in Iraq brought on by vain American adventurism – none of these is anywhere near the horror of…what? Obama not waging war (which he is not allowed to do anyway) on every rogue actor on the planet? That seems to be the prescription, though you and your Congressional cohort are for some reason reluctant to articulate the actual war plans: the cost justifications, the logistics of fighting on multiple fronts from Ukraine to Syria to Libya, the assurances that non-state actor “x” is our “friend” and will steadfastly fight our cause against non-state actor “Y”, and the viable end-game scenarios for these actions that would justify the cost in lives, money, and international reputation. You imply Obama is refusing to pursue these lines, but you know they don’t actually exist – never mind, progress is not the goal, I know. You don’t need to actually have a goal beyond embarrassing the president and weakening our position as a nation in the eyes of the wider world.

By the way, isn’t it Congress’s prerogative to declare war? Why don’t they then?

By continuing to argue, sans facts, that the Obama administration’s foreign policy is somehow the “cause” of the world’s sectarian strife, you undermine actions the administration and its many allies are actually taking to address these foreign conflicts and nascent threats. At every turn, you attempt to stoke phony “outrage” over administration “bumbling” rather than suggest useful or insightful (as opposed to fantastic and impossible) changes or enhancements to policies that are in fact in place and quietly working.

With your cynical sarcasm and ridicule of U.S. policies, effectively saying “It’s hopeless” to try to assist the president, you signal to your acolytes in Congress that the only course for the GOP is to pre-emptively undermine anything Obama would try to do toward a shared goal of American safety and prosperity. In doing so you trade the cause of peace and security for petty, ephemeral partisan victories that amount to nothing in the real world. (Hint: Obama will not run again in 2016. Promise.) Your goal, if you have any beyond Obama’s destruction, appears to be to convince Americans the country is in worse condition in 2016 than it was in 2008 (though it is not by any fair measure you care to name) and that it’s all the fault of one man, thereby paving the way for a Republican White House because, you know, lesser of two evils, right? You seem adamant in your need for this to be “true” to the point of helping useful global chaos to be realized and tangible, at least in the minds of voters. But it’s not true. The world is always unstable, and the Obama years mark one of the few times the U.S. was agile enough to largely stay out of it – allowing us to concentrate on the many domestic challenges we face (one of which is massive war debt and a huge population of disabled veterans who will need lifetime care, not to mention a treasury depleted by war adventures).

If I thought you were rational, I would ask you to consider only this: as many areas of the Middle East still burn with the fires set by an unthinking, shoot-first American foreign policy circa 2001-2007; as Russia continues to devolve into a failed kleptocracy due to its structural economic weaknesses and Putin’s monomaniacal insanity (not to mention his knowledge that Obama will be both restrained from acting on foreign soil and simultaneously pilloried for inaction by the GOP Congress for electoral purposes); as stateless terrorists in austerity-crippled Europe probe for weakness and terrorize the citizenry; and as Syria continues to crumble while Congress signals it will not support the president’s plans there (again, because they value embarrassing Obama and protecting theselves against primaries over defeating Assad); remember that the United States has somehow – even under Obama – managed to emerge from the Cheney-era’s Great Recession and costly middle east war adventures to steer the country toward a return to prosperity; we have somehow also managed to avoid another costly, pointless war; we have somehow managed to prevent any significant foreign-launched terror attacks. If I thought you were rational I would ask you to recognize that these are good things, not bad things, that they are positive developments for the U.S. despite the world’s general condition.

In other words, we are the envy of a chaotic world right now, an island of peace, enjoying stability and prosperity (relative to 2009) amid the world’s present chaos. All signs point to a continuation of this pattern and a return of American economic dominance and worldwide influence (absent Congressional sabotage in the form of debt default threats, sequesters, thoughtless tax slashing and such). Deficits are shrinking every year; manufacturing is making a comeback; the previously steep annual increases in health care costs are slowing dramatically under Obamacare; the dollar is stronger than it has been in years. The Dow Jones is in record territory. There have been – and I predict there will be – no indictments of Obama administration officials, because they are playing by the rules whether you choose to believe it or not.

Your calculated, hateful rhetoric, your fake sputtering frustration at the “grave ineptitude” of the administration, words that paint a picture of a ‘failed’ presidency, a ‘weak’ president, a ‘lawless’ president simply cannot be taken seriously by anyone who knows the truth of history. Unfortunately, many do not know the truth, because they are listening to the likes of you, in your collective, fact-free Obama-hating echo chamber, instead of looking at the actual historical record, the actual events and decisions that led to the wrecked domestic economy and the factional, warring, America-hating Middle East Obama inherited in January 2009.

 

Just Checking In

OK, so I know it’s been a while. But again, no one is reading this, so no big deal.

As for today, I am feeling restless, so thought I would submit an entry, blog-like, rather than the usual planned essay.

Today is September 12, one day after September 11. Last week, we had a great excitement as one Terry Jones (not the Monty Python Terry Jones), leader of a Christian church of sorts down in Gainesville, FL, finally hit a hot button that got him the media attention he so desperately craves.

Apparently this guy, whose church’s basic Christian tenet is that Islam is evil, has been trying to get the attention of the media for several years, announcing this or that plan for his church designed to foment ire and street violence among the worlds Muslims. Problem was, nobody was paying any attention to him and his crackpot pronouncements.

But this time, he got it right. He announced “International Burn a Koran Day” and sent out a release saying his church was going to burn Korans on September 11 as a way of “getting their message out” about Islam.

Cue media frenzy. Admittedly, it was a slow news week. So slow, apparently, that all anyone talked about – apart from someone named Snookie – was this guy and his whacko church.

In the end, and under pressure from Barack Obama and General Petraeus and the whole gang, Jones announced that, on second thought, they would not burn Korans on September 11.

Whew! Close one.

Now, you may or may not consider it ironic that at least two people were killed in street protests in Afghanistan which anticipated the non-event. But I for one would hate to be the guy who died while demonstrating my opposition to an outrage that never actually occurred.

But anyway, speaking of religious nuts, we had our own little weird celebration here on the plains a couple of weeks ago, right down the street from my house.

We were heading out on Saturday morning to the farmer’s market to get some good tomatoes. That time of year, you know. But we got over on the main street, and were surprised to encounter a huge throng of folks lining the sidewalks near the Lutheran church, holding signs, chanting and all the rest. Turns out the main group – hundreds of them – were actually counter-protestors who were there to face down the crazies from the Westboro Baptist Church of Kansas. These folks like to protest at the funerals of soldiers who’ve died in our of our imperial wars. Their reasoning is that the soldiers are dying because God is visiting retribution on our country for – are you ready? – its tolerance of homosexuality, apparently the vilest of sins. So they show up at the funerals with big signs that say “God Hates Fags” or “Thank God for Dead Soldiers” .

That’s their thing.

On this day, in fact just after we passed through on our way to the farmer’s market (my wife gave them a thumbs down, and I gave the Westboro folks a version of a “thumbs up”, which involved a different finger) another event occurred. A veteran drove down the same street and unleashed a barrage of bear repellant – basically mace – from the window of his pickup truck, aimed at the Westboro protestors.

The gay-hating protestors, though, are not rookies at being broadly despised. They had their signs at the ready. They maneuvered them in front of their faces and avoided getting maced. The counter-protestors, probably less experienced at this sort of thing, got the brunt of it. Several ended up in the hospital.

It is surely so that God works in mysterious ways.

It’s 2010 – Now Shovel!

Another new year, fresh like a just-opened jar of peanut butter with that pristine swirl it feels so good to dig your knife into.

Oh I could talk about how this marks the first year out of the “0” years and what we might call them now that they’re gone – the “aughts,” or the “naughts”,  or the suckiest decade since the 1930s if we’re being honest.

Or I could, blogger-like, conjure up some best-of-the-decade lists, for movies or records or porn stars or something.

Or I could lament, in full middle-aged fashion, the sheer lack of originality and freshness in all things media-rich, the repetition of styles and endless remakes of vintage culture  – the sequels and prequels and boxed sets – a sure sign that the one so lamenting is himself not so fresh anymore. (“If you are tired of London you are tired of life.” )

Or I could remark, as a side note, on the failed Christmas underwear bomber. But perhaps what’s more interesting is that this attempted terror attack is, according to the media, merely a side note. This may be the year we warm up to terror as the English and the Israelis have – relegating it to the ordinary risks of life, as it should be, rather than the sole focus of the government’s efforts (hello – jobs?). Me – I’m much more convinced I will die not in a conflagration of Islamist vengeance but at the hands of a sober, inexperienced and wholly disinterested teenage driver staring at a cell phone.

Mark those words – I’ve seen it in a vision.

Instead, though, I’ll just talk about the weather. Because it’s the most remarkable thing about this year so far. At least around here.

It began in mid-December. We were all feeling fine about the news from the meteorologists that it would be a mild winter. But before winter had a chance to get here and be mild, we had about 11 inches of snow dumped on us.

Mild snow, I guess. And mild zero-degree temperatures. And mild fatal car wrecks.

Then, a couple of weeks later on Christmas eve, an old-fashioned, Laura Ingalls Wilder type blizzard rolled in. Whiteout conditions, and another twelve inches of snow. We had to eat the horses.

OK, we didn’t eat the horses. I wanted to, but there was plenty of peanut butter.

Nobody moved – Christmas was effectively cancelled (a small bright spot) – the city froze solid for a few days while everyone either looked out the window and marveled or – we the unlucky ones – were marveled at as we lifted endless shovels full, tried to find a place to put the four-foot snow drifts that had collected in the driveway. Turned our faces from the biting crystals as we blew them aside and the North wind blew them back at us.

As the gutters filled with pounds and pounds of ice, a solid wall of it gushing a freeze-frame cascade of watery stalactites.

I had to buy a roof rake and actually shovel the snow off the roof. It’s just not natural.

But hey, we’re plains folk. We’re hardy, or so I’m told. So we got the job done, got the walks shoveled and the roofs raked, and the cars unstuck and the snow blower gassed up again.

Because here it is next week, and the forecast is for snow, snow, and snow.

Here on the plains.

Constant + Variable = Art

Ezra Pound said that art consists of a constant and a variable.

He was probably thinking of an underlying poetic meter interrupted by the artist’s insertion of variables into the meter to effect semantic emphasis, lightness or heaviness, a faster or slower cadence, etc.

But the concept, to me, rings true on a multitude of levels and for any art.

I suppose it’s weird, but I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned in this log that I am a musician and composer of sorts. Now that I have my stylin’ new web site with an Mp3 player (at right if you’re on the home page), I have what seems like a neat opportunity to discuss just what Not Johnny is all about. It’s especially neat because even though I’ve been working under that banner for about a year now, I’m just now figuring it out for myself.

That is, Not Johnny is the name of my musical project, but really it means a bit more to me, because it’s all mine.

My musical history is brief but colorful. Many years ago, I was in several non-entity bands (translation: no gigs) before hooking up with a couple of friends in the late 1980s (no laughing, please) to form a trio devoted to, basically, weirding people out. We wanted to make good music, to be sure, but it was a pretty dead time around the city, so our main purpose was to try to shake up the scene a bit–to inspire others to do weird things too. We were a fairly electronic outfit – synthesizers, drum machines, and myself on both of those plus guitar and – after a fashion – vocals.

We weren’t that great, but we weren’t bad either. The important thing is that we were unpredictable. We were able to get shows, I believe, because the venue owners were curious to see what we would do. That, and we played for free. In fact, at most shows we lost money. This was because we were intent on producing a new experience at each one. New songs, new set lists, and some new visual twist was necessary for each show.

Untitled-1-(2)

Curari – Kansas City

Our shtick was video. Not many bands were doing the video accompaniment at the time, but we were big fans of those who were – the Butthole Surfers in particular. So for almost every local show we either rented a 16mm projector or a video projector (those were new and expensive) and blasted the image from the back of the room up on the stage, or, after a while, deployed a series of thrift store televisions (plus, to my wife’s dismay, our actual living room television) on stage and hooked up to one or more VCRs through a ridiculous array of wires and video splitters.

We started out showing stock films from the university library. I kept checking the same films out with a cool professor’s permission, and they hated me for it, because they knew I was lying when I said it was for research. My favorite was one called “Making Metals Behave”, which had lots of cool footage of flames and molten metal bubbling in huge smelters. By the end we were producing our own twisted videos using old black and white TV cameras we somehow picked up from a local theater.

Anyway, that was then and this is now. I’ve always kept up with the guitar, and recently got into some computer recording equipment. The result, with a little help from my friends, is Not Johnny.

Not Johnny is evolving, and that’s what I like about it. There is absolutely no pressure, so I am just going with what feels right. My first several songs, which I got very excited about, showed all the symptoms of enthusiasm married with impatience. That is, a few were good but some were not – I was anxious to package up an “album” to show off to my friends and musical correspondents.

But more recently, I’ve been refining the sound into what, for lack of a better explanation, Not Johnny wants to be. And I find that Not Johnny wants to be part swamp rock, part instrumental experimentation. I think it’s a good mix (but then that’s me). And, getting back to where I started, I find I am most comfortable and most “real” when following Ezra’s bedrock axiom. the songs I’ve posted here today, I think, illustrate my embrace of that philosophy.
Crossroads was written in a hurry, then recorded one lazy, Guinness-inspired Sunday afternoon with my good friend and collaborator, King Dick (of local fame and a consummate musician of the old school variety).

The goal there was to make something simple – almost traditional – on its face, but with a complex arrangement that belied that same simplicity. I’m pleased with it, because I feel I pulled that conceit off. You can listen to it in the fashion of some CCR swamp dirge, with a steady and unchanging backbeat and bare-bones vocals, or you can listen to the interplay of guitars (3 of ’em) and the King’s harmonica to hear the complexity of the interwoven rhythms and melodies – simple alone, somewhat complex together. Constant and variable.

Loss2: Elegy is actually intended as a follow-up tune to a song called Loss Leader (which I’ve also included). Here the idea was to pair a very steady, 3/4 rhythm (unchanged throughout!) with two layers of guitars playing the same progression, but staggered, kind of like a round. This base simplicity is complexified with the two-part division of the song. It is basically split down the middle with the first “version” of the progression, which forms the crime (Jonestown) and the second version, the string section of which forms the elegy.

Enough talk. I hope you enjoy them.

Funky Sucks

I read the comics pretty much every day. It’s a good, brief escape from reality.

Some comics I can’t stand, but I read them anyway – I’m not sure why.

So I was talking to some folks about how particularly bad the strip Funky Winkerbean is. The problem? Nothing really happens. It’s basically a bunch of people moping their way through very mundane lives.

I am actually an aficionado of bad comics. There’s something about them. Funky Winkerbean belongs in the “truly bad” category – it’s too maudlin and pathetic to rise to the heights of the “so bad it’s good” category, which is where I place Family Circus. So my complaint is real in the case of Funky.

funky

I mean, as many have noted, there’s nothing worse than mediocrity. So if something is only “bad” in the sense that it’s commonplace and boring, then it’s really bad. But if something is truly, insultingly, unbelievably, surrealistically bad – well, sir, then it catches my fancy.

This describes Family Circus and, yes, Nancy to a “T.” Family Circus occupies a special place in the stratosphere of bad art, however, in that it operates under a pretense that it is entirely unaware of how bad it really is. Not to mention how unreal it is – no family – I mean not one – could live up the ideal of Bill and “Thel” (what is that, Thelma? Who is really named Thelma?) Keane. They are ideal humans – the kind who don’t exist.

As an aside, however, I do find Thel pretty hot in a matronly way, so tall with her round hips and ample bosoms. She telegraphs both motherhood and the (evolutionary) reason men are attracted to full-bodied women (because they can bare lots of healthy Billys, Jeffys, Dollys, etc.). Was this unintentional on Keane’s part? I think not.

And what of the kids? They are, in fact, indistinguishable from each other because they, too, are unreal. Real kids have likes, dislikes, and unpredictable quirks. These kids are all exactly the same in that the only thing they are concerned with is saying and doing things which adults are supposed to find “adoringly cute”. They are more akin to trained monkeys than human children.

There are many more ultra-bad strips. I’ll just stick to newspaper strips.

Luann

This is a patently bad high school strip full of two-dimensional, half-realized characters, all of whom are curiously unlikeable. It gets extra points for being badly drawn also – not “edgy” badly drawn like the phalanx of new Internet comic artists who can’t be bothered with anything beyond stick figures, but just a failed attempt at well-drawn cartoon figures. Extra creep-out points: the strip is concerned with the life of an adolescent girl, including all her boy-crazed yearnings, but it’s drawn by a middle-aged guy.

LousyLuann

Mary Worth

A sublimely bad comic similar to Funky Winkerbean in that almost nothing happens. However, it exceeds Funky in interest thanks to the unbelievably patrician personality of the main character. Mary is the light of reason surrounded by the chaotic darkness of human folly, and for that it actually makes pretty decent theatre sometimes. It gets bonus points for its unflinching dedication to the tradition of strip art – right down to the “radiating lines” coming off a person’s face when they’re shocked, surprised, or otherwise nonplussed.

maryworth

Rex Morgan

This strip holds the dubious honor of being the slowest-moving strip of all time. Slower than Gasoline Alley and Mary Worth combined – we once clocked the action in this strip at approximately one week in Rex Morgan’s world taking up no less than four months worth of real time. I’m not kidding. June (Rex’s wife) was on a week-long cruise wearing the same bikini (and oh, did she look good in it) for weeks on end. It was once three weeks between breakfast and lunch. This strip has the bonus of being very professionally drawn – and all the women under 50 are built, as my mother would say, “like a brick shithouse”.

rexmorganrigormortisDennis the Menace

What can I say? The strip used to garner a kind of weird interest due to the somewhat bizarre aging process of its creator, Hank Ketcham – who, it turns out, never much liked Dennis (the character was modeled after Ketcham’s son, who later in life resented being his father’s muse). The strip devolved into daily panels featuring not Dennis in the starring role, but the right-wing rantings of his crotchety neighbor Mr. Wilson. Rather than snakes and snails and puppy dog tails, the strip’s themes centered on the ridiculous tax code, the declining spirit of an old man, and the meddling ways of the U.S. government. After Ketcham’s death, however, the strip descended into the depths of newspaper mediocrity at the hands of a soulless writing “team”, a la Garfield.

DennistheBore